I’m not one of those passive aggressive people that sit behind their computer spewing bad Yelp comments from the safety of anonymity so with this review I don’t mean to sway anyone in any direction. You may find products here that have worked perfectly well for you. The products I mention here are just ones that didn’t work for me, didn’t deliver with what they promise or weren’t worth the money. I will share better options (in my opinion) that work way better than these.
So let jump right in.
Life Brand Smooth Bronzing Spray $6
Ok where do I start. 3 words: streaky, orange, disaster. This tanning spray is super messy, collects in creases like under your arms, elbows, knees and above the heel, pools and dries a perfect pumpkin shade. I’m pretty sure this is the self tanner Trump uses. It comes out in such a powerful wet spray that it drips down your skin and left orange and white streaks on my legs. I spent a week afterward either covering my arms and legs with clothes and furiously exfoliating my skin in the shower to get it off. Neither worked. I only picked it up because my favourite tanner was not available and this one was 1/4 of the price. But you know what they say, you get what you pay for. Better Option: Bioderma Photoderm Self Tanner $18
Maybelline Cheek Heat Gel Cream Blush $9
I’ve come to appreciate cream blush as I’ve gotten older. My skin is naturally oily so although I still use powder blushes, cream versions don’t sit in lines and wrinkles and looks healthy and glowy. When I saw this blush I thought “great! a nice coral cream blush is just what I need for that summer sun kissed glow”. I got home and tried it. No colour. “hmm ok, maybe it needs to be layered”. Another layer, “nope”. It’s bizarre. The only way I got the colour to show up was by patting it on and even then the colour payoff was minimal. Better Option: Pixi Sheer Gel Blush $24
Kopari Coconut Glow Shimmer Oil $60
I don’t mean to trash this product because it smells lovely and leaves a glowy golden shimmer to the skin. It looks lovely on tanned skin BUT it’s oily and transfers onto clothing. I learned the hard way last summer when I put it on my arms and chest to show off my tan I got in Italy and it completely ruined a brand new top I was wearing for the first time. Grrrrr. I’d save this for wearing at the beach with a bathing suit. Better Option: Biotherm Oligo Thermal Sparkle Cream $41
CHI Thermal Protectant Spray $23
Heat protection is important when using hair tools like blow dryers and flat irons. I make it a point to only wash and style my hair once a week but still like to use a product that keeps my hair healthy and the ends from splitting. I picked up this spray last year because it claims to protect hair up to 450 degrees which is great. What’s not great is the scent – it smells like old man’s cologne, very masculine which is such a strange fragrance to choose for a woman’s hair product. So the fragrance was a miss but I figured, if it does what it says then I can forgive the scent. Once on it leaves the hair coated in what I can only describe as a resin like feel, kind of sticky and squeaky if that makes any sense. Like when I’m flat ironing my hair with it, my hair almost feels like it could make a sound as I’m passing the iron over it… like violin strings. Weird!!. Better Option: Dry Bar Prime and Prep Detangler $32
I like to give myself a manicure weekly. It’s a time for me. I put on a movie or Youtube video, set up all my tools and polishes. Soak my nails in warm water and take my time. Recently perhaps from being home for so many months, I was feeling a little lazy and saw these nails at London Drugs and thought ” I can have a perfect manicure in like 10 minutes!”. Big mistake. These nails come with a silicone-like stick already attached to the nail so all you do is peel and stick. This also means that the nails don’t sit snug on your regular nail so they sit higher than your natural nail bed. I immediately regretting putting them on but the glue is so potent there was no way I could take them off immediately so I left them on for a week. The caught in my hair anytime I ran my fingers through my hair and looked, well, FAKE! Better Option: Kiss Nails (I use them with brush on glue for a natural look)
Morphe X Jeffree Star Makeup Setting Spray
I love Jefree Star and have followed his Youtube channel for years. He’s so talented as a makeup artist and is super funny in the way he reviews products and edits his videos. When he collaborated with Morphe and released his setting spray he used it in a video and it looked amazing and he described it as smelling like delicious strawberries which it does; it’s just really potent, sweet, sickly strawberry, like something from a kids makeup line. It also leaves the skin sticky and shiny. Sadly I will be passing on this one Jeffree. Better Option: NYX Makeup Setting Spray in Dewy or Matt Finish
Until next time!